saturday with blue sky

As you can see below, Mia is indeed alive and well. Well, sort of well. She has a cold again but is holding up pretty well. I have been ridiculously short on sleep and working on my regular work plus a bunch of crazy freelance design crap every free moment I have. I just realized that a supplement of sorts my doctor prescribed has been screwing with my sleep at the current dose as well as giving me otherwise unexplained anxiety. Figuring out the source of my state or really a contributor to my state is so very helpful. At least I don’t have to question why I am obsessed with deadlines and a clean house 24/7. Sleep was a tad better last night and the kids’ colds are abating once again. A good friend helped me realize that it has been weeks since I did anything for myself at all, including taking a nap or watching a little tv or, well, anything. So yesterday I did less work than I should have (which is not new but I did it on purpose and didn’t care!) and got a massage for my very sore back and took a bath. I am feeling so much sunnier it is amazing. Hopefully there will be some pumpkin carving this afternoon and maybe, just maybe, I will go buy a new computer (employer paying) today.

So, that’s where I’ve been. Fine but not great but getting better and continuing that trend I hope. Not so exciting but that’s what I’ve got. I can’t leave you without a little Henry anecdote or two though. This morning he took a band-aid off of his cut finger and exclaimed, “look! my body healed myself!” Later, as I was cooking the pancakes we had just made, he was wandering around the dining room and asked with the same exasperated tone that he might use to ask why we can’t go outside now (or, now, now, now as is more common), “mommy, why is the world so beautiful? Why!?”

6 months old

calm

So, not to brag or anything, because I know it will come back and bite me on the ass, and hard, BUT it is 6:12pm and both kids are asleep. And it’s not even because they are sick or we couldn’t stand them anymore or anything. Presumably, Mia will wake up before I go to sleep and, heaven help us, any number of insane things could happen between now and daybreak but I need this. We have all been so sick and exhausted and out of commission (while trying to hold the house and work together) for so many weeks that I am afraid to breathe a sigh of relief about anything that comes even slightly easy. The coughs still linger but things are getting easier. I am going to give relaxing and breathing and enjoying even a few minutes of quiet time a try and I’m not even going to worry about the state of my house or my person (god, I need a shower). One more day really can’t hurt. No one has ever died of a dirty house have they? No, don’t answer that. I don’t want to know.

UPDATE: An hour hasn't quite passed and Mia has already woken up once. I just got her back down easily though. Her sleep was really off last night so I know I can't count on a good stretch of sleep now. Still things really are better. I just did one of those things I sort of hate myself for and googled baby growth spurts and confirmed that one usually happens at 6 months. That's 2 days away. So, let's hope that's it. A phase I can handle. It was around 6 months that Henry's sleep went to hell and stayed that way for a year. I just can't do that again but I'm pretty sure I won't have to. Also noteworthy, tonight was a ridiculously early night for them both but they just seemed to need it.

player

We have been playing a number of new games with Henry lately. He’s been playing with some dominos and a matching/memory game for almost a year but lately he’s really taken with a couple of card games and simple board games. He has a way to go before he will be able to keep his hand in cards a secret but we try not to take advantage of that too often. He’s really good at playing by rules it’s a fun phase because he isn’t really competitive yet. He is just as happy when someone else gets a match or a good spin as he is when he does. In fact, although he understands the goal is to “win,” he really enjoys the process so much that even “bad” spins or hands are just fine too. He does like to win, mostly for the shouting rights I believe, but not winning doesn’t seem to detract from his fun.

He has just started to take rules and instructions very seriously and asks for them to be read to him before almost every game we play even if we are not going exactly by the written rules. He will hold the box or card or pamphlet close to his face and squint his eyes and point at it with one finger and say things like, “when two players both win that’s the point. That’s what it says.” or, “when you get a match you put your cards down and make a pile,” or, “when the bird gets your basket he takes a little nibble and you have to put one back. That’s what it says. That’s how it goes.” I like playing by the rules but I’m wondering if maybe this strong interest in instructions is not the best thing given his age. Then again, it’s not like he follows any of my rules with consistency anyway. Maybe I should write them down. Or better yet, just hand him a piece of junk mail and tell him it says that it’s bedtime and he has to brush his teeth without any whining. It’s not like he can read yet anyway.

Other humorous anecdotes of late include his renaming of his most recent game “hot bingo!” (one must shout “hot bingo!” with arms raised when one’s card is filled) and applying gaming to daily life, I asked him is he wanted a sandwich and he said, “go fish,” I then asked if he wanted eggs and you can probably guess his reply. “Go fish.” I laughed at the cleverness of it but I can’t say I was thrilled that he came up with yet another way to rebuff my meal offerings.

always an opinion

Henry has a sort of funny way of talking. Not the way his words sound but the way he uses them. I have a feeling that it comes from me but I can’t quite pinpoint some of the phrases. A few days ago we were grocery shopping when he put his finger to his chin, cocked his head and said, “I am thinking we are done now.” Today in the car as we were just getting going, Mia was crying and moaning so I started to sing to her and Henry said, “you, stop with the singing now. Just drive and she will calm down. (pause) Can you drive faster?” Neither were really particularly bossy but actually quite matter of fact.

school

My baby is growing up. Okay fine, he's not a baby anymore. You would think his reminders of that fact (right, big boy!) would have taught me a long time ago. In any case, Henry started going to preschool a couple mornings a week about a month ago. It is at a Waldorf school just a few minutes away and things are going swimmingly. I have only twice found him at pick up time covered in snot and tears because he is so distraught about LEAVING school. He adores his teacher and from what I can tell he is doing just fine. It's a class of 3 and 4 year olds and he is on the younger end of the spectrum but he’s right in the middle as far as behavior and developmental levels go. They make soup and paint and bake bread and go outside everyday. There are only 9 kids in the class with 2 very attentive teachers and I am on the edge of becoming a Waldorf education convert. I have my misgivings but much less so than I do with public school for him at the moment. Really, I can’t believe I am even thinking this way. A few months ago public school for the duration was a foregone conclusion. Now I’m not so sure. Thankfully we have a couple of years before I even have to form a coherent thought on the matter so for now we plod along.

I am still having a hell of a time balancing my work, parenting, home and other lives and really need a solution. I think I need some professional help figuring this one out. I am pretty sure we are going to add two more mornings of preschool while there is an opening available but it really doesn’t help anything besides giving Henry more structure (and doing something he really loves more frequently). If we could all get over the damn colds that have been lingering for weeks it would certainly be a step in the right direction.