Friday, September 21, 2007

no, seriously.

I just had a very unpleasant experience I can’t quite shake. After dropping our car off at the dealership for the most overpriced oil change in history (and to look at a few little things), I took their shuttle van home. It was just Mia and me with the driver and the first thing he asked when I got in was who I was going to vote for for president. Bad sign. Didn’t anyone ever tell this guy not to talk to strangers (particularly those captive in his van on his employer’s dime) not to talk to strangers about religion or politics? Apparently not. It devolved into him recounting terrorist plots to kill middle school children that he has been reading on the internet. He also asked me why the feminist women and homosexuals haven’t spoken out against Islam and said that he wouldn’t treat his dog the way Islamic women are treated. He did say a few reasonable things that I could agree with, but what the fuck? He wasn’t clearly a Republican or a fundamentalist of any sort really, just a weird guy who watches a lot of news and reads a bunch of crazy crap online.

I am still wondering if he talks like this to everyone or if something about me made him think I would agree with him. This is Portland for god’s sake. I just can’t imagine he can get away with that bullshit. Then again, I didn’t do much to stop it. The car seat was being weird and Mia was being fussy so I was distracted and sort of just tried to say neutral things and comment about the weather but now I am feeling like maybe I should have told him to shut the fuck up. I don’t know. Traffic was slow and all I could think about was getting home. I am definitely going to call the dealership but the dude knows where I live and even though I feel kind of chicken shit about it I want to be anonymous. I think. Hell, I don’t know what to think. I didn’t feel threatened, just seriously creeped out and uncomfortable. I’m going to try to just put it behind me and get the baby to sleep and start working again. I also need to think of a different way to get my car back later today. I’ll see what Jason thinks later...


Friday, September 14, 2007

my apologies

If my kid swears at you or calls you a name it’s probably my fault. I have been amazed at how long it has taken Henry to adopt any swear words given my lack of attempts to control my language. A few weeks ago as we were looking at some photos his grandparents sent, he burst out with, “holy crap! There's a fire truck.” Jason and I both laughed so hard we couldn’t breathe, which was, of course, the wrong reaction. He actually has only said it once or twice since except that every time we drive by a particular building under construction in our neighborhood he says, “holy crap, that building is getting taller and taller.” Every time.

Also a few weeks ago, he was engaging in his occasional crotch grabbing behavior. I can’t even remember if he was wearing clothes and I said, “hey, penis grabber.” To which he replied, “What, penis talker?” The thing that killed me was that many hours later I told Jason that Henry had called me a name and he overheard and laughed and said, “yeah, I called you penis talker.” Language acquisition is freaking amazing.

In addition, if he asks you for alcohol, which he will enunciate very clearly and with joy, not to worry. He is most surely asking for rubbing alcohol to get the sap off of his dirty bare feet.