happy birthday, big girl

Dear Mia,
Today is your birthday but we did most of our celebrating yesterday at your party and throughout the day with your grandparents. We are all sick and tired but managed to have a nice day and I was so happy to lay with you and listen to you chatter before you fell asleep tonight. My big three-year-old girl. You have so many questions and observations and recollections I wish I could write them all down. This week you looked out the window and saw the boy across the street spraying water on the lawn and exclaimed, “hey that’s a big spraying mantis!” A few days later when Jessica came to take care of you and told you about Tony’s fender bender, you asked a few minutes later why he had a “thunder bunder.” The best word to describe your personality is intense with a capital “I.” You get so angry that you just stand with your mouth as wide as it will open and yell for the world to hear and yesterday you got hurt and declared that you were “angry at the whole world.” On the other hand you are incredibly cuddly and loving. I can’t imagine many kids your age give as tight of hugs as you do. You hold on with your whole body and don’t let go. I love it more than you can imagine. Sometimes when our faces are close to each other you take my cheeks in your hands and pat them and make your eyes maniacally wide and grin and say “hi mom.” I hope you always have the ability to melt my heart like this. I worry some days about the inevitable challenges that mothers and daughters seem to have and desperately hope we can avoid it even though I don’t know if that’s possible. I have seen it a few times so I know it can happen and I just hope we can figure it out. I feel like I understand you so well right now that maybe, just maybe, that understanding and connection will persevere. No matter how our interactions and relationship changes over time I know that I will always love you more than you can imagine.

This year you mastered riding a tricycle and are close to moving from your balance bike to a real bike. You are strong and coordinated and loving your recent community center gymnastics class. Having Henry to follow is a big part of it but your are both naturally comfortable and in control of your bodies most of the time. Speaking of which, thank you for potty training yourself well over a year ago. When I see other 3-year-olds still in diapers I am very thankful for your tenacity and commitment to the potty at such an early age and thankful that we haven’t had to deal with diapers for so long.

You and Henry have your ups and downs. You immediately want to be with the other first thing in the morning, which isn’t hard since you share a room but inevitably one of you wakes the other up too early. Some days you play beautifully together for hours and some days you aggravate each other more than anything. Often it is a mix but really you do love each other and both care more about telling each other about the events of your days than you do telling your daddy or me. We are all very fortunate to have each other and this isn’t lost on me very often. I could have done without the recent weeks of early spring illness but otherwise our lives are pretty great most days. You wake up smiling and happy and usually fall asleep the same way. Really, I couldn’t ask for anything else.

remembering

We are doing a birthday celebration in Henry's class tomorrow since he has a July birthday. I spent a ton of time and effort on some hippy chocolate chip cookies full of dates, almond butter and quinoa flour. No kidding. I think it was probably worth it but I like the idea a lot more than the process or the product. In typical Waldorf fashion, we need to say something about each year of his life. Having been there every day you would think we could come up with some nice memories without consulting the iphoto library. Not so much. Without those photos we would be lost or at least wandering.

not exactly what mr. crow had in mind

The parents in Henry's class helped make little rag dolls out of handkerchiefs with wool hair for each child. They are delivered several a day by Mr. Crow and the teacher is told which baby would like to go with which child. The babies stay in the classroom until the end of the year for the children to play with and having seen it first hand I can say the kids are pretty excited about the arrival of new little ones each morning. They have names like gladiola, marigold and poppy. Henry got his today and its (they are sort of gender neutral) name is mistletoe. He figured that was probably because his teacher knew he likes missiles. Hmmmm is all I have to say about that.

sweetness

This morning, way too early, after I had been up multiple times dealing with requests from both kids, I was settling back down in bed for another half-hour while they were supposed to be resting still or playing quietly. Mia knows the early morning drill but nonetheless came bounding in and said, "I want to talk to you." I politely declined and told her to go back to her room. "can I get in bed with you?" came next. No thanks. Then, "Can I just stand here and smile at you?" How could I resist that? I couldn't and that's exactly what she did. Standing right by my pillow her head is at exactly the same height as mine laying down and she stood there for multiple minutes just smiling, grinning even wider each time I fluttered my eyes open and smiled back. Really, I can't imagine a sweeter way to begin the day, early or not.

busy indeed

tiger: bee, come here and have some breakfast
bee: no, i already ate breakfast. i had some dirt. i am here in my little dirt house but i need to go do some work on my computer now.
tiger: okay.

easter

Given that it's stormy and cold and not at all lovely we have been inside for the last couple of days. Easter was no exception but the whole affair (focused on a breaking and entering rabbit much more than anyone rising from the dead) turned out to be pretty fun. Jason and I went a little nuts with craft projects for the kids and turned the egg hunt into a scavenger hunt form one egg to the next with little pictures. My parents came over for brunch and we probably made the kids wait too long but I was hell bent on them eating a good meal before getting into their "natural" jelly beans in the eggs. We also we not clear enough about the whole easter bunny thing in terms of what he did and didn't do and Henry, alway the practical one, had dozens of questions about how a bunny could do anything but he clearly wants to believe so I was, as usual, noncommittal and vague and we'll let that go one more year. Mia on the other hand is still waiting for this mystical bunny because she wants to "chase him around the house" and can't imagine anything more fun or how things could possibly work any other way.

the difference a day makes

The oil tank no longer leaks, the dishwasher has been fixed, I got a decent night's sleep last night, my parents have the kids for the night, we just had some delicious sushi right before the line extended out the door. We sort of cleaned before we went out to dinner so we came home to a clean house and now I am going to read and maybe watch an artsy documentary. I am feeling lucky.

April fools indeed or maybe it's Mercury in retrograde?

Things, they are better and worse. We are healthy and fine but our dishwasher is dead (3-months old), as of this morning our oil tank in the basement is leaking (again!), Jason's car is threatening to fall apart for good and we just started new child care arrangements that are literally different every single day of the week. First world problems I suppose though I may be going insane. But, probably not. However I have been having crazy, angry nightmares for days as well. On the plus side, the sun is shining, I am working from home in my pajamas (I do have some deadlines today), kids have been sort of sleeping in since daylight savings time started, and I finished our taxes this week. It will all be fine. It is all fine. I think breakfast and a shower will help immensely in convincing me of that. To be continued...maybe every day this month. Lucky you. Happy April!