grey area

I have had a bunch of potential posts floating around in my head lately but most of them don’t make it into writing. I realized tonight that they can pretty much be summed up with two categories.

First is, oh my god, my kids are so amazing/adorable/cute/smart/funny/perfect. I can hardly believe how amazing they are and how lucky I am. I want to remember every second of this experience and exactly how they are. It physically hurts to have either one of them out of the room I am in. I love them so much I can’t believe it.

Second is, oh my god, my kids are so crazy/loud/unpredictable/frustrating/exhausting. I can’t believe I have to deal with one more minute of this. How long is this phase going to last? I can't wait until they are more independent. I am so tired and sore I can hardly stand up. I need a fucking break. Now.

I understand from blogs and friends that both of these general sentiments are pretty common in parenting and therefore I shouldn’t be to worried about experiencing both extremes. It’s just so black and white. Where is the middle ground? The problem I am having is that the great and the horrible hit so unpredictably and I never know what to expect. It’s like day and night spontaneously fading in and out thought the days and weeks, never knowing how long one will last or when it will end. I am getting whiplash from all of the back and forth (crappy mixed-metaphor, I know) and try as I might, I can’t seem to hang onto the great ones for long enough (for ever?) no matter how hard I try.