update

Staying at home with (these) two kids and working (ha!) is kicking my ass. I knew the past month was going to be rough with less childcare (none!) and Henry at my mom’s less days (vacations and such (and, ok, that is some childcare)), and the addition of more hours of work while my boss was away, but with preschool starting in a few weeks I figured we could use the time together and that I could handle it. I’m not sure I was right. I mean, yes, we have all survived and had some good times but I have been making some far less than ideal parenting decisions in the face of very stubborn and aggressive behavior on Henry’s part. Work has been put aside and I am barely holding onto the appearance of holding it together. Henry is not happy with the time I need to spend with Mia lately and he is going through so many transitions that I can say, only a month into it, that those people who say 3 is harder than 2 are right. Man oh man is it rough. He’s still sweet and smart and amazing and hilarious but he’s also angry and demanding as hell. We are using an “unconditional parenting” approach these days (oh, the posts I could/should/might write on that) so no major punishments or rewards. It may sound insane to those who rely on time outs and such but I have to say that I have seen the light on this one and don’t think we’ll be going back. I feel like a few months ago all I ever used was punishment and reward. It is definitely the right choice for us but at this highly emotional and completely illogical stage it is certainly interesting. So, that’s where I am. In the house mostly and going a little insane. Henry will love preschool (it’s a tiny Waldorf program, just 2 mornings a week) and I have a babysitter lined up for the morning that he isn’t with my mom so things should be looking up soon. Mia is doing great and sleeping (sometimes) and smiling and growing. I couldn’t ask for much more in a baby. Just a few more days (and a stupid, crappy freelance project) to go and hopefully we can all come out the other side of this without too many regrets. It is what it is (good god that sounds stupid but it goes through my head and out my mouth all too often lately) and I know it will be changing soon.