I found something again I never really knew I had missed tonight. I was just sitting in the dark rocking Mia to sleep, noticing her warm breath on my fingers and chest, her soft, chubby thigh under my other hand, her hand on mine. Under her soft, heavy, warm hand on the back of my fingers, an intense tingle spread up my arm and down my hand. A small part of me was waiting for cues that I could put her in bed but I was overwhelmed by the desire to stay just like that and full of fear that even the smallest movement on my part could disturb the intense perfection of the moment. It was like sitting in a dark movie theater with someone on whom you have a huge crush holding hands for the first time. It has been a lot of years since I have had that feeling. I guess that’s why people say that having kids is falling in love all over again. And again and again I hope.