Monday, August 07, 2006

feeling low and an ugly cake

This has been one rough month. The sun is shining and work hasn’t been too hectic, we haven’t had to travel and everyone is well. So what the fuck is my problem? Well, I’m not exactly sure. At this point I don’t even care. I have spent way too much time crying and lying around to explain and really I don’t want to. I think that I have just been too busy to crash for so long that when the break appeared my body and mind took it against my will. I think I turned a corner this weekend and things are looking much brighter but man does summer depression suck ass.

I know this is all random and out of nowhere but I just haven’t had the will to post lately. I have spent the last few weeks being sad and having extreme hormonal swings that have caused me to ask myself whether or not I am pregnant daily (including a number of very specific and suspicious symptoms but no positive test). I think it is shaping up to be some horrendous PMS and I am looking forward to the end of it. I am taking the opportunity to lay low and take care of myself as much as I can. I just hate the feeling that I am missing summer, which is so precious around here.

On a semi-related note, I decided to bake a cake yesterday (the hottest day in weeks, yay!) to 1) test new silicone pans, 2) try using rolled fondant, and 3) try a new cake recipe. I had a fine time and didn’t get too annoyed at numerous pitfalls and here's what I learned. The silicone pans stuck as bad as metal one would have and were kind of wobbly. The cake layers turned out a little thin and lopsided and cracked like hell coming out of the pans. One accidentally misplaced drop of black food dye made my yellow butter cream for decorating turn gray and I was only able to salvage it with a lot of red that left it looking like a dark old rose color. No so nice. The fondant rolled out easy and looked pretty good (even given the lopsided cake) but we all agreed that it didn’t add anything in terms of flavor and had a weird texture. I don’t think it was worth it. The cake tasted pretty good and lemon curd and lemon butter cream were definitely the right choices. So, some lessons learned and some cake to be eaten. Here is the final result.

I would have spent a bit more time decorating if Henry hadn’t woken up just in time to watch and scream “EAT HAPPY CAKE” repeatedly at me in those final few minutes. That and the ugly color made it hard for me to care. It tasted pretty good nonetheless.

Here’s to more happy days and better looking cakes.


Blogger nonlineargirl said...

As you know, I was just there. I hope you are feeling better soon.

Oh, and from here the cake looks nice. But I could see that grey icing might not be the most appetizing.

8/07/2006 3:39 PM  
Anonymous supersugarstar said...

those fucking silicone pans suck ass. big fucking ass. i'm sorry you're having some bad days, maybe if you force some gelato down your throat you'll feel better?

8/07/2006 11:48 PM  
Blogger Bridgermama said...

Since having the big B, I have found myself having too many moments like this. Frickin' hormones! Feeling bummed? Call me and we can go make fun of khaki- pants-pastel-t-wearin'-moms at the park (wait a minute...I am wearing that exact outfit right now). :)

8/10/2006 9:37 PM  

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